Da Lyfe Of A Confused Teen

Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Update
Hey Guys!!
Sorry I aint posted in time..but i couldnt be bothered to!! Lolz.
Well, a lot of tings ave happened during the past few weeks...I turned 18!! Woohoo, I partied it up in Ldn..Was soo much fun + my mum's giving me a LOT more freedom even though shes STILL over - protective!! All good news!! and also Ive been accepted into a modelling agency!! woohooo!! Its a respective agency as well!! Ive bin lucky!!
Erm....On to the bad stuff now - I hardly talk to my close friends now and feel left out sometimes..erm..dats it...Im gone now..
i promise to update this more
posted by Diva-sta @ 07:52   2 comments
Sunday, 10 June 2007
Religion & Friendship
Aaaa on friday i went to the gym..did some yoga..lolz it was interesting to say the least. On saturday, i went to a party organised by a family friend...it was ooo much fun...LOVED IT!!. Today i went to my place of worship...I realise now that i should be taking my religion and education seriously because i never take anything seriously. Its something im trying to work on. I have made a resolution - that from now on starting from tonite...I read a portion of the bible a day...to make me progress spiritually..because i really want to dedicate my life to God through baptism but there are several factors stopping me which im TRYING to overcome...Anyways enough ranting. I am going back to college tomorrow which im not looking forward to...starting my A2 levels...cant wait to finish college altogether..I'm tired of all the work and drama surrounded around it kmt....

Do you know that in your lifetime, you are likely to have up to 5 TRUE friends? At first when i heard that, i thought it was ridiculous..but considering it....im starting to believe it's true...
I dont think i've found my first true friend yet...dont get me wrong i got friends/companions but they have somehow let me down in the past or we not as close as we used to due to other factors. Right now, im not really bothered because i starting to see my mum's view and thinking "Maybe they are bad association" but i dunno...It's something i'll have to think about deeply. It would be nice to have someone u can talk bout absolutely EVERYTHING to...not worried or scared to hold back anything frm...not worried that they going to chat your business to other people...not feel they are judging or chatting bout u behind your back...I could go on...Anyways ill definitely stop my rants now :P
posted by Diva-sta @ 12:43   10 comments
Friday, 8 June 2007
Party details again
Hey guys...Finally went to the gym yesterday...ooo my days i went to the aerostep class and i swear to God...i was the first to get tired..:S and i was the YOUNGEST and there were like 40/50 yr old's there..it was soooo embarrasing. Then straight after coming back frm the class, i ate 8 SLICES OF DOMINOES PIZZA. Aaaah I was angry with myself but i couldnt help but eat it..i was finking "Wat's the point of going to the gym if im going to eat 8 slices of pizza *sobs*"

The party arrangements are STRESSING me out really.....

My plan was for people to pay to go to my party because i am having a well known performer to my party...but im worried bout a few things....

  1. i dont think i can do the party on sat june the 23rd...its WAY 2 soon...plus theres another party going on...on the friday...that people have to pay 4...so im REALLI worried dat no1 would have enough money to pay to get in2 ma party (if dat makes sense)
  2. NOT ENUFF MONEY - I estimated that by the time the dates comes, ill ave 210 pounds minimum...and the venue = £200 (Ave to pay a depodit den can pay on the nite), performer = 50 upfront and 100 on the nite..and the d.j= maximum 90 pounds.....ALL TOGETHER = BOUT 400..:
  3. Advertising...getting people to come...

I fink i've got a solution for this...Im gonna get people to pay 10pounds to come to the party...which is going to be easy becos it's me :D and the performer as well....plus ill ave 2 borrow sum money frm frends and parents and pay em bak (im nt gonna pay ma parents bak really kmt) i need sum suggestions...

HELP ME OUT!!

posted by Diva-sta @ 07:44   2 comments
Thursday, 7 June 2007
Reminising bout the times
It is thursday..and im bored..going out inabit with ma bredrins (friends) doing what i normally do...Oo yeah thnx for the comments..they are appreciated :D.....

A few minutes ago, I was listening to a song by 112 called "Let this go". It reminds me of a time in my life when I was goin through a "rebellious" stage. It was between 15-16..a lot of stuff happened then...I experimented with stuff like cigs, bud (or weed) and started to notice boys hehe. That song particularly reminds me of my first real relationship..if u could call it that.

Anyways i started cheking (slang for dating) one boy who i shall call DA (stands 4 Dumb-Ass hehe) wen i was just turning 16. He was the same height as me, light skinned, 19 and slightli below average looks-wise...Urghh...thinking back i don't KNOW why I got involved with him...I guess I just liked his status and loved the fact dat his feared by most people...I loved the fact that if people started beef with me...they would have to deal with him...i guess it was the power...

When he first saw me, he kept annoying me asking for my numba and that..i wasnt even interested because he wasnt my type AT ALL lolz...but he kept asking and pursuing relentless and i finally gave in...At first, i was worried because i knew my friends didnt like him because:
  1. They knew i could do better....loolz
  2. Every1 knew of his temper...
  3. They thought he's one of them types that would try and cause trouble between me and them

He treated me right though despite the worries..kept buying me stuff..took me out to an amusement park and spent so much money on me..he always seemed to have money...i had an idea where he got it from but i didnt imply....

Anyways about 6 weeks later, he started pressuring me into have sex with him....me = nuh uh no way because i held high moral standards (I still do). At first, he was fine bout about it..he'll b like "Ok babe, wait til your ready". Then as time went on, he would keep asking and pressuring and gettin aggresive until finally he SNAPPED. Wen i mean SNAPPED, fully started shouting, throwing, scaring my naive young self...yoooo i thought he was going to hit me but i didnt give him a chance to lolz because i got angry myself, stormed off and went to my friend's house. Boy try and apologise and i eventually accepted..but in my heart, i knew i didnt really want to be with him...that in a way i was using him because of all the stuff he gave me (Yes i was a lil gold-digger..but it was unintentional :S) so next day, i called him and broke it to him. Needless to say, he wasnt happy..getting dumped by a 16 yr old looolz...aah he got over it...he gt himself a white girl a week l8r.

Anyways the song "Let this go" by 112 reminds me of what i said to him while i was dumping him.

Verse 1]Girl I don't understand, stand the reason why, why you act this way
What did I do, tell me what the problem is
I don't wanna see, wanna see you leave
Wanna let you go, I just wanna find a way to work it out
We've been through so much, good and bad times
Girl I did you wrong, you forgave me then we tried to start over
I apologised tried to make it right, so many times
Now I think its time to let this go
[Chorus x2]And even though I love you and you've been with me for so long
And we thought that we could make it work but we were wrong
But neither one of us wanna be the first to say goodbye
Baby I think its time to let this go
[Verse 2]Girl it's hard for me to tell you that it's over
I hate feeling this way
But I know you know things just haven't been the same
We always said that we, we would tell the truth
No matter what it is, can't continue to pretend our heart is in it
I’m waiting for you to see, the reality
We at a dead end, there no way to go unless we gonna to be just friends
I love you so much, never thought that I would ever have to say
That I think its time to let this go
[Chorus x2]And even though I love you and you've been with me for so long
And we thought that we could make it work but we were wrong
But neither one of us wanna be the first to say goodbye
Baby I think its time to let this go
[Bridge]Oh girl
What happened to the love
What happen to the girl
The girl I fell in love with
I never thought I’d been the one to say goodbye
I’m sick and tried of the arguing and I don't wanna do it again
Again, woo

The words highlighted in red and bold are EXACTLY the same words i used to dump him (Well not exactly..I used two or three different words but they more or less the same)...I swear to God that is sooo weird...and only heard of the song 4 months ago...and i dumped him back in august 05 hehe aint that wierd looolz....
posted by Diva-sta @ 05:40   8 comments
Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Will I Regret having this post.
Removed the pictures now...thnx for the comments guy's..much appreciated :P
posted by Diva-sta @ 08:45   18 comments
Black brothers and white chics
Today is going to be a not so interesting day since im stayin in all day..Look what i just discovered..



Reggie Bush and Kim Ka"hoe"shian (Bitch)...Im soooo hating rite now...i heard the rumours ages ago but just didnt want to believe it...and to add the cherry to the sundae...apparently he only dates latino's....kai!! this bobo fine oooo...he don broke ma hart in2 three...when all my friends used to say he was'nt that good looking and that...i used to defend him intensely :(:(:( ...(Im realli not this obsessive hehe). Anyway, looking at this prompted me to start my first discussion in this blog.

I've decided to post an article written in july last year by a very good writer called Uche Nworah....I no most of y'all are starting to wonder why most successful black men are getting with races other than their own...Even those who ain't successful are shunning their own race telling white girls that "they hate black girls". <---- True story..my friend who's white told me about 1 black dude who tells every white girl he dates how much he hates black girls and rants on about it. It got me angry and I was like "Get over yourself gosh Kmt...U must hate your Mum/Sis then if u hate black girls so much"(Kmt btw means Kiss My Teeth). Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against inter-racial relationships (I no when im older ill want to dabble in some of that hehe) but only with those men who purely DATE ANY RACE BUT THEIR OWN. It's starting to concern us..well me anyways...I mean im starting to wonder what's wrong with us...anyways, here it is...

Black Brothers And Their White Chics
By Uche Nworah

Our black sisters in the UK must still be fuming right now, particularly those from the Caribbean islands over this latest ‘affront’, which is like a slap in their faces and a vote of no confidence on their beauty, womanly virtues, and on the other characteristics that brothers look for in women these days.
Ashley Cole’s marriage to Girls Aloud Singer (Cheryl Tweedy) is not surprising, it is consistent with the age old habit of successful black men in the UK, (and in America too I guess) abandoning sisters from their ‘hood, choosing instead to cross over the street and find their love matches amongst white chics. I’m sure some of these sisters, with their hairs tucked nicely under hair driers in Peckham’s many beauty shops, the many others putting finishing touches to their nails, and the ones waxing their faces in the quest to enhance their appeal would be cursing and swearing at the same time, out of disgust and disappointment and thinking out aloud ‘damn, another one taken, what’s with these brothers?’.
Such outbursts may not be surprising as black sisters would normally regard brothers like Ashley and his likes that prefer white chics to their black sisters as lost causes and tormented souls. This habit usually surfaces whenever the going gets good for the brothers, that is when they suddenly realise that their black sisters ‘goods’ aren’t good enough anymore.
But do you really blame brothers like Ashley, and Sol Campbell, his friend and former Arsenal team mate who also had his current white girlfriend (interior designer Fiona Barratt) in tow at the Ashley Cole wedding. This despite his previous weird experiences from his off-and-on liaisons with 44 year-old celebrity interior designer (Kelly Hoppen) which ruined his 2005/2006 football season and almost cost him his football career. And speaking about Sol Campbell, what is it about him and interior decorators? Oh! Plus older women. Weird isn’t it?
And what is it about white chics that lure successful brothers like them away, so much so as to make them forget about all the bootylicious endowments and soul food skills of our black sisters?
Could this be as a result of low self-esteem or inferiority complex on the part of these brothers, a situation where they begin to see the white chics as their passports and tickets to breaking into the traditional and ultra conservative English society, and party circuits, or is it just that the white girls ‘do it’ better than our black sisters?
This is really worrying because it is our black sisters that should be crawling those Soho night clubs and raiding those West end boutiques as footballers’ wives (WAGs), and deservedly too, not these white chics that would use our brothers and eventually dump them when the going gets tough.
Maybe these brothers should speak to Frank Bruno first before getting in on the act of crossing over. The former heavyweight champion probably is still suffering from the stress of separating from his ex-wife who seemed to have jumped ship when Frank’s chips were down. And to think that it is us, the brothers and our black sisters that rallied round him when he was going through his rough patch in 2003.
If you ask me, I think that our black sisters should stage a walkout and protest match at the Soho headquarters of the Football Association (FA), they should also put in their complaints in writing and demand the FA to launch an inquiry immediately into this growing trend of brothers abandoning their roots. If not checked, our sisters would lose all the few good (and rich) men (footballers) still around.
Thierry Henry is already taken, and by whom? Sure you guessed right, by a white chic. Christian Kerembeau, remember him? He was in the French world cup winning squad of 1998; and has been long taken by the supermodel Adriana who now also doubles as his wife. Even young Theo Walcott, the great black hope, didn’t you see his white WAG (acronym for footballers wife and girlfriend invented by the British press, apparently the reasons for England’s poor fortune at the World Cup) hanging out with other WAGS during the World Cup in Germany? Even Jermain Defoe, the petit sized Totenham Hotspurs misfit also always has a white chic in tow.
In fact, all the available black footballers are heavily into white chics, now you see where I’m coming from? This surely is worrying. It is only our black footballers from Africa who still manage to patronize the ethnic community as regards their choice of girlfriends or wives, see how Kalu Nwankwo cleverly went back to his village to capture Amarachi, even Jay-Jay Okocha too; he imported his from back home. I don’t know about Celestine Babayaro, but I sure don’t trust that brother, every time you run into him in a bar or club in London, you will find him in the company of white chics. Sisters, please do us and yourselves a big favour, go grab him now, don’t let him go the way of the others. It’s your money after all; help keep it in the black community. And while you are at it, do a stakeout at Stamford Bridge for John Obi Mikel, it’s always better to catch them young before these white chics capture him too. Afterall, he is now a Chelsea FC football millionaire.
Look at O.J Simpson’s experience in America; surely he didn’t think that Nicole Brown-Simpson was going to be there with him forever, did he? Who wants to hang around an out-of-pocket, has-been football player? When O.J. lost his star power and wasn’t attracting much society gossips and column inches anymore, Nicole walked. Which white chic will endure that kind of humiliation? But our black sisters would, they would always be there, come rain or shine or am I fantasizing here?
This is not to say that black men are not capable of loving white women and vice versa, and don’t you go thinking that I’m racially biased/ No, I am not. I have been with white chics in the past but surely like attracts like. I’m down with our black sisters any day, for reasons that wifey won’t like to see me mention here. Again, don’t call me a racist, we sure do have lots of unmarried sisters in our communities, and it would help our cause if the likes of Ashley Cole do also look their way, as role models to young black men, they should set the pace.
Who says black sisters cannot generate enough column inches and media profile, capable of attracting sponsorships and increased earnings for black brothers? The person should check out Naomi Campbell, a sister like that is capable of reviving dead careers with her on your side. That’s what I’m talking about.
Our Nigerian sisters though may not care a hoot about this because they got it all going and wrapped up for them by our Nigerian brothers, but the challenge also goes to them. Despite all their sme sme and garagara, we are yet to hear of any of them that have landed a big fish since Regina Askia’s misadventure when she married the African-American Rudolph Williams, the marriage has since broken down because of Regina’s continued extra-marital relationship with Charles Orie, a close friend of late Obidiozor Otokoto of the 1996 Otokoto ritual fame.
Our Nigerian sisters should at least show some sisterly love; by showing some concerns and worry on behalf of our Caribbean sisters over the way white chics now grab the few eligible and rich brothers still available. It could be them next.


I want everyone to comment on this especially the black men (reassure me hehe :P) and tell me what they think....because if this is how it's going to be like then i might as well just give up on black men (who don't seem to appreciate us) and date men outside my race...I really don't want to do that...but it's like in the future, my generation won't have any options.
posted by Diva-sta @ 07:18   4 comments
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Party
I think i'm going to have my party!!


Can't wait!! I went to the venue and they said they would give it to me for 200 pounds for the night from 7:30 to 2:30!! I want to change it to a later time though like 3:30!! He said I can give in a deposit but i have to pay the full amount within 24 hours of the event :S....that's going to be a BIT of a problem. I have to find a way to raise the money...but i'll think of something!! I wish my parents could help me but they wouldn't...OOOO WELLL!! They don't even know i'm planning a party!!
Annnyyywaaayss Any suggestions people on ideas in raising money within 2 weeks? :P
posted by Diva-sta @ 17:13   2 comments
A teenaged girl..trying to get through life fairly easiliy and also trying to discover herself and her wants through the help with this blog...so she could move on to be the best she could be.
About Me

Name: Diva-sta
Home: A town Nt In Ldn, United Kingdom
About Me: Parents = Nigerian. Was Born In Ldn Moved 2 Nigeria at the age of 4...stayed for 5 years den moved to another location in the uk and stayed there ever since.
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